Big List O' Excuses to Kick Ass
In Blur, the main characters will very likely knock normal thugs and mooks around like rag dolls. This is because they're better fighters than ordinary people, but why is that? Over the years, action movies and television shows have given us a mind-boggling assortment of excuses for their main characters to kick excessive ass. I've compiled just a sampling of them into this Big List O' Excuses, in the hopes that we can all benefit from this vast cultural resource.
So, why do you kick so much ass? Because you're...
Whether a demigod or a daywalker, there's someone special in their family tree. They're almost always superhumanly strong and resilient, either immune to certain kinds of injury or just fast healers. Both sides of their family, humans and whatever, usually view them with suspicion, if not outright hostility. Whether they reject or embrace either side of their heritage makes little difference. Plucky human sidekicks are always teaching them about their buried humanity.
Pros - All of their non-human parent's strengths, none of their weaknesses. The best of both worlds.
Cons - They belong in neither the human nor the inhuman worlds, and have enemies in both.
Somebody took a dip in their gene pools and made one helluva splash! They're faster, stronger, and tougher than regular humans, and may even possess heightened senses or special abilities like camouflage or poison. However, genetic tinkerers are known to leave a few wires crossed here and there, so bizarre medical conditions often come with the designer genes. These mutants are a hefty investment for a government agency or private corporation, so those who don't willingly work for their makers must live as fugitives.
Pros - Physical perfection and weapons that can't be confiscated.
Cons - Special medical needs and/or an inhuman appearance.
It's all about the metal in the meat! Cyborgs can kick excessive ass for a wide variety of reasons, from quickened reflexes to increased strength to heightened sense to subdermal armor. Their implants can be obvious or concealed, but few will go unnoticed during a medical exam. They're often vulnerable to electrical damage, since it can short out their cyber. Since the neural interface usually requires a computer, they are also subject to viruses and hacking. Oh, and look out for those hidden kill switches!
Pros - James Bond style gadgets, laser beams on foreheads, etc.
Cons - Pathological fear of tasers,
This is your garden variety excuse for secret agents, navy seals, and international terrorists. Some military somewhere thought it was a good idea to train people to kill other people with supernatural efficiency, so they blew a few hundred million dollars on it. Thus were these supersoldiers born. In addition to being deadly in combat, they're also experts in all manner of weapons, vehicles, explosives, surveillance, and security. Oh, and they usually have access to lots and lots of money.
Pros - You get all the chicks. Seriously. It's disgusting.
Cons - You have to answer to your bosses, whoever they may be.
You know these guys. Bruce Willis always plays them. They're usually pretty good with guns, and can handle themselves in a brawl, but they're always getting the shit beaten out of them by bigger or more well trained fighters. Not that they let massive blood loss and broken ribs stop them! These guys just keep comin' until they've done whatever it is they came to do. If the Terminator were powered by pure machismo, he'd be Too Tough to Die.
Pros - No matter how beaten they are, they can always come back in the ninth round.
Cons - They've usually lost a few teeth by the eighth round.
Vampire slayers, interdimensional murderers, and even clueless hackers who live in artificial realities can all find themselves ensnared in a destiny larger then themselves. Most of the time, these people are unique in the entire world, which means that there are a lot of people who take a keen interest in them. Some want to help them remake the world, while others want to subvert their power for their own ends, and other just want to kill them and maintain the status quo. Isn't it nice to be special?
Pros - They're hot shit, baby! Prophesies are written about these people!
Cons - The prophesies in questions usually involve horrible suffering and death.
(Yeah, I know it's the wrong "your." So sue me!) These born ass kickers are just plain talented, whether due to centuries of meticulous breeding or some special chi that puts them in tune with the universe. They're always faster and more aware then normal people, and often stronger and more resilient. It usually runs in the family, so their martial prowess may be common knowledge where they grew up. Sorcerors and immortals are always trying to steal their chi, kinda like Lucky Charms.
Pros - They're just naturally skilled martial artists, plain and simple. Don't even have to work out!
Cons - People tryin' to steal their chi, which usually kills or disables them. It sucks.
If you want something done right, and mean really want it done, then you've got an advantage over the rest of us schmucks. The need for revenge can push people past their limits, even return them from the grave. If you're one of the people who wronged one of these guys, or even just someone who's getting in their way, they will knock your ass down. Hard.
Pros - Nothing can stop them from putting the wrong things right, least of all bullets.
Cons - They usually can't hurt innocent people. Plus, what happens after the revenge?
Finally, there are some people who aren't career soldiers, born kung-fu masters, or revenge-driven psychopaths. They're happy, talented, successful people who may or may not fight crime for an anonymous millionaire. Such people kick extraordinary amounts of ass simply because they're that cool, damnit!
Pros - They kick ass and look good doin' it!
Cons - None, really. They are who we all wish we could be. <Sniffle.>